Families and Forgiveness
With holidays around the corner, there’s going to be a lot of talk about how we spend our valuable time ... Whose family’s house are we going to? How long are we going to spend there? Is it really worth the stress of traveling?
It can be overwhelming.
Let’s be honest, one of the concerns for many of us is that our families are a source of pain. Perhaps at some point in the past, something has been said or done that feels like it just can’t be forgiven. The relationship seems beyond hope of salvaging.
But do we really want to go on this way, with a gaping divide between us and our siblings, parents, or in-laws?
How, then, can we handle this hurt properly, knowing that if we don’t, our hurt will turn to resentment and bitterness that spreads into the lives of others? After all, there’s a good reason why the Bible warns us that “human anger does not produce the justice that God desires” (James 1:20 NLT).
Unforgiveness is a big deal to God. Matthew 6:15 says, “If you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Wait! What? This seems a little harsh. But take heart, just before this, the Bible says, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you” (v. 14).
God is asking us to forgive people for their mistakes, to forgive people for being human, to forgive people for simply being imperfect. God already knows that people will hurt us. Yes, even family. This is why we must trust in the Lord with all our hearts (Proverbs 4:5). Keyword: all.
So, when we’ve been hurt by someone, we first go to God to comfort us. The Bible says that God is “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1: 3, 4).
Next, we must choose forgiveness. We must intentionally let go of negative feelings and resentment toward someone who has wronged us. It’s a voluntary transformation of our feelings, attitudes, and behavior. We must allow God to help us change the way we think, feel, and even see the people who have hurt us. This may feel like a task that is too big.
Megan Marshman said it best, “We’ll forgive others only when we open our hearts to the truth of our resentments, anger and hatred toward self and others and see God’s lovingkindness toward us in the moments we don’t deserve it.”
Receive God’s lovingkindness today and in turn extend that love to others. Do this, so you can live free and forgiven.