Legalism or Loyalty: Are We Chasing Religion or Relationship?
Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, and that she is a sinner.” —Luke 7:39
It's not about religion, it’s about relationships.
I loved that phrase as a 17-year-old evangelist. I tried to convince people that having a relationship was far easier than following a set of rules, but now as a 45-year-old father, I have to ask myself, Is it?
We’re quick to condemn the religion and lifestyle of the Pharisees, but they’re not really all that unrelatable. Think about it: Many of us don’t know what to do with grace; it feels cheap if it can’t be earned. However, the Pharisees believed in a system where each person was rewarded in the afterlife according to their deeds. That makes more sense to us, doesn’t it? It appeals to our compulsion to compare, compete, and control.
With relationships, there is mystery and uncertainty, and that takes faith. Pharisaical religion gives tangible certainty. Relationships are private, and by their nature can’t be judged (1 Cor 2:11). Pharisaical religion has holiness levels, giving a way to judge others through comparison. The relationship allows for uncertainty in times of suffering. Pharisaical religion demands explanations for suffering. Relationships force us to put others first and venture outside our comfort zones to demonstrate love. Pharisaical religion encourages and gives righteous reasons for people to be exclusive with those who look and live like them. Choosing a relationship means dying to ourselves, and that can feel like…well…dying.
So why choose relationship over religion?
A relationship means intimacy, individualized help in a time of need, and intentional acts of love demonstrated by a loving Father. A relationship with God means being completely known, being loved anyway, and forgiven (Luke 9:47-48).
In a way, my 17-year-old self was both wrong and right. Religion can be easier and more personally affirming, but a relationship is a deeper reward. As a 45-year-old father, although I crave the pseudo-certainty of religion, I still choose the richness of a relationship.