Singleness
"Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I."
—1 Corinthians 7:7-8
Take advantage of being single.
Singleness is a magical time when one gets to indulge in whatever activity they think will make them more attractive to potential partners (think CrossFit, extreme sports, modeling, or competitive cross stitching.) Although such self-focused behavior feels good and may even have a legitimate place in our lives, it's a poor setup for what following Christ is all about—namely, serving others by dying to ourselves.
In this passage, Paul is saying he wished more people were like him ... single! But what would that mean? Intense and focused service to God? Yes. Celibate? Also, yes. However, for those who "lack self-control" (v. 9), his wish can be expressed as a desire for others to become more like Christ through service and sacrifice.
"I hate this," John muttered as he filled another wheelbarrow with concrete. To be fair, John had been hand-mixing concrete in the hot Mexican sun for four days on this mission trip. He was sore and sunburnt, and the sweat in his work boots made the bug bites on his feet itch. And for their efforts, the basketball court the mission team was pouring wasn't nearly finished. In fact, they would return home before getting the satisfaction of seeing the job done.
John was a single, successful worship leader who often received accolades for his incredible talent. He had just finished playing for a revival where many people came to know Christ. "There," he told me, "I feel like I am truly making an impact for God."
But here in Mexico, he felt no such thing. Yet, God was there, gently putting him in a place where he was finding out what it meant to truly serve with no expectation of applause. In Mexico, God was quietly carving out his character, building John's capacity for self-sacrifice and self-denial that would make him more like Christ.
If John would let Him.
"Yet I wish that all men were even as myself ..." Paul's words apply to us all, regardless of our relationship status or gifts. Paul knew that becoming more like Christ is a freedom from self that will surely set us up to succeed in our friendships, work, marriages, and parenting ... if these are what God has for us.
The way to take advantage of being single, then, is not self-focus but self-surrender.